DAY 6: My First Onsen

Hi Friends! 

Tomorrow my parents and I are flying down to Kyoto. Our journey begins at 6:00AM, so today we are relaxing. My plan for the afternoon is to create a more detailed itinerary for our trip, pack my bags and relax by giving myself a kind of spa makeover. Manicure, pedicure, facial, hair did, general grooming (scrubbing, shaving, plucking, moisturizing - it takes a lot of work to look this good)… I want to arrive in Kyoto looking like a million bucks.

Yesterday (Day 6, Monday May 7th), I went to an onsen (hot springs bath) for the first time.

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DAY 5: Vegging Out

Today everyone is taking a break from sightseeing. Mom and I went to the co-op and picked up a few things at the dollar store, pharmacy and grocery store. We’ve been uploading photos, watching tv and snacking all day. Dad cooks. Mom does the laundry. Everyone takes naps. It’s just like a lazy Sunday back at home. We are going to go out for sushi tonight I think, apparently there is a great place nearby so I am looking forward to it! 

Bean and I have queued up a ton of photos from yesterday so you can totally check back every hour to see more photos - that is, if you haven’t already seen them on my mom’s facebook because she is very dedicated in documenting the trip! 

I also decided to open a flickr account to act as a portfolio of my absolute favourite shots, so if you can’t get enough of our adventures in Japan - add me on flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/firstjapan/ (and instagram too: my username is frostedmango) 

May 4th (Yesterday in brief)

So, I’ve been getting the days wrong and everything I’ve posted about has been with the wrong date ever since I lost a day travelling into the future here. 

Here is a really short recap of our day yesterday: after a delicious breakfast (quelle surprise), we took a bus and then the chikatetsu (le metro, the subway) to the Sapporo Eki (Station) Esta (a specific 11 floor mall, one of 5 malls at the Eki) where we did a little shopping, saw a hello kitty exhibit at a gallery, ate ramen for lunch at the Sapporo Ramen Kyowakoku (food court) and took photos from the T38 observation floor of the JT Tower. Don’t worry, I’ll queue up some photos from yesterday so you can check it out ;)

Once we arrived home, Dad made an incredible dinner (as usual, pics are forthcoming) and I tried not to fall asleep; I need to break myself of this whole asleep at 9:00PM and up at 5:00AM nonsense but my body has been really mixed-up since I arrived.

Also, heartbreak: One moment, I’ll be grinning my face off and thinking of Hello Kitty and taking pictures of everything and the next - it’s like taking a slapstick 2x4 to the face, I’ll be knocked off my feet by the force of the loss, the rejection. Don’t worry about me though, after all, I’m in Japan.

MAY 1ST 10:00PM EST

I wrote this when I was on the plane from Toronto to Seoul and I’m just going to paste it in here without reading it: brave the mush brained kiki ramblings and read on.

I’m nine hours into my thirteen hour flight from Toronto to Soeul. I’m not sure I spelled that right. I’ve had two meals and watched a lot of tv. I slept a little bit. I’m not going to be able to post this until later but let the record state that it’s 10:00 PM EASTERN TIME. This morning at 7:17AM, I got into a cab and left from Emily’s place in NDG to the airport. My flight was delayed slightly but everything so far has gone pretty smoothly except that I can’t understand how everything in the airport is so fucking expensive.

Earlier when I was served green tea I just stared at it for a while, so long that  I decided to take a ten second video of it. I think I’ll keep doing this. Sadness makes ordinary things seem just absurd. Like that song “Why does the world go on turning” that was ruined for all of us sad sacks when it was used in that suicide scene in Girl, Interrupted. Which, like the bell jar, if you’re white and female and 25 and didn’t grow up in a cave, you know what I’m talking about.

As I was saying I’m just going to keep doing that - taking weird little ten second videos to try to capture my moments of insane sadness.

I had one in the airplane bathroom when I was looking at the korean lettering on the trash can, but I have to admit I’m not taking my phone into the bathroom just to make a weird video when there will be plenty more where that came from.

The stewardesses all have amazing hair and makeup and nails. And here I am, not even wearing real pants. Just tights and they might be a little too worn in by now, a little opaque perhaps so maybe the polite male university students next to me have seen too much when I squeeze by them to get to the washroom - I’m in a window seat if that wasn’t clear. Anyways, I wish I hadn’t shipped home my lululemons - I wish I’d had better sense and planned my traveling outfit. I think I’m going to get some of those ridiculous cheap Monday harem pants in black and a giant hoodie and a rilukkama head rest and a sleep mask fot the flight home. I’m coming prepared next time and I’m not shelling out for any of the low grade over priced shit they sell at the airport.

Forethought, people, forethought. 

DAY 2: IM IN JAPAN OMG

tl;dr: Arrived safely in Japan, went shopping and saw Bean’s yosakoi group.

Travelling here was surreal. That began on Tuesday, 7:15AM EST when I got into a cab and left NDG for the Montreal airport. Adieu MTL. I flew to Toronto and then to Seoul and then to Sapporo. I have a piece I wrote while on my 13 hour flight which I’ll post once I can get my laptop going (I need a three prong adapter which we will try to find today). The highlights of the 26 hour marathon were taking a free shower and getting a $40 manicure in the Korean airport and the crushing embarrassment of having my pen explode ink all over my hand (and fancy manicure) during my final flight. One of the two beautiful Japanese children seated next to me offered me a lilo and stitch printed tissue from her purse and I totally drooled on myself while trying to thank her. #-_-# Of course, this was during take off so I spent the entire rest of the flight mortified by myself. My body suddenly seemed far too big for the seat and the in-flight meal - for which you never have enough room - was consumed in a state of painful self-consciousness.

My first hours in Japan were spent driving from the Chitose Airport into Ishikari with Aileen and her friend and colleague, Lindsay. I think the drive was about an hour or less. I babbled on about my trip and my life: my recent breakup, my epic bon voyage karaoke party, my unfinished schoolwork. Bean and I caught up and I got to know Lindsay a little bit better. I can tell she’s been a great hostess to my sister and my family. 

We stopped at Starbucks on the way in and Lindsay ordered in Japanese but my chai latte tasted the same as in BC, as in MTL, as in LA. On arrival, I hugged my parents first thing and we chatted for a bit but I went to bed pretty much immediately. I have the cutest room on the second floor and there were two welcoming ikebana arrangements in the house - just for me. You’ve already seen one of them.

ON DAY 1, I was suffering from a serious case of soul delay. I woke up at 5:00 AM but forced myself to go back to sleep. My father made french toast and coffee for breakfast and after a couple hours we decided to go on a bike ride to the Hard-Off (which is like Canadian Tire + Value Village in one) and a department store the name of which I’ve forgotten. I took a pictures but I’m feeling a little insecure about my photography so I’m not sure that I’ll post them. Back at home,  we ate a snack, then Dad and I went to the grocery store to pick up lunch. After lunch I had a short nap, then we went to see my sister’s old Yosakoi group practice. It was a lot of fun! I was surprised at how loud and energetic they were even just to practice. The group leader was very funny and welcoming. I will post a video of it later on. 

DAY 2: So far I’ve just had enough time to shower and caffeinate and type this up.

À bientôt!

- Kiki


HOURS AWAY

I am on my way to Concordia to do a couple of final errands. My 6 small boxes are with UPS on their way to Victoria and the bon voyage present (pics forthcoming) which Sailor V sent me arrived right on time - they are so so so so beautiful!!! You will see and you will all be so jelly. Annie sweetly volunteered to go to the post office for me so my insurance claims are in the mail ($$$ yes!).

With all my possessions sorted, I dropped off my keys and said goodbye to my x for good. I am trying not to be sad about that; it is a beautiful day in Montreal.

3 DAYS

Everything is upside down. I’ve sorted though my things and packed my bags but there is still so much to do (well it doesn’t look like a lot now that I’ve made a list but it’s very overwhelming, I assure you):

  • paper to write for film class
  • box and ship pile ‘o’ stuff home
  • return library book, sell school books back to Concordia/drop off bag of stuff at the Concordia swap shop
  • buy film?
  • back up my computer
  • buy maple syrup, etc for gifts, etc
  • mail health insurance claim forms
  • put a book onto my ebook for the plane ride

Tonight is my going away party. I’ve reserved a room at K Karaoke and Bar and the plan is to get tipsy and cry and shout along to Britney Spears and Sam Cooke and Supertramp while saying goodbye to my friends. WHAT IF NO ONE COMES? WHAT IF THEY THINK ITS LAME?!

Sunday I’ll take another stab at this schoolwork still to do but try to go to bed early so that I can be back at the old apartment on Monday morning to pack and arrange to have my stuff picked up and leave my keys and all that.

I feel nausea all the time. I’m nervous and I’m sad and I’m relieved and I’m excited all at once. Last night I dreamed of a giant flying shark/orca monster which I was alternately riding and being devoured by. One moment, it was chewing open my throat and I was bleeding out - the next I was on its slimy back with my arms around its neck as it swam through the air. THAT’S NOT ALLEGORICAL AT ALL.

ONE WEEK AND TWO DAYS

Everyone says, you must be so excited to be going to Japan. And a month ago, six months ago, yes, it was easy to be excited but with little over a week to go, I am feeling overwhelmed. I feel a crushing dread.

Travelling to Japan is absolutely a dream come true but I am miserable saying adieu to the relationship I’ve put more than four years of my life into, saying adieu to the man and the city I am still in love with. I keep imagining the sun shining on Montreal; All our friends are in the parc playing with Midge Hadley as if I never existed. It’s silly because I want everyone to be happy, and of course my friends will miss me - intellectually, I know I’m not replaceable, but part of me wishes that summer wouldn’t come without me. 

I feel like everything is out of my control and happening against my will. It is out of your control, my bff+homegirl, Kim, said about it this afternoon. Walk into the fog, she said.

11 Days To Go: FREAKOUT

Last night I had a nightmare where I was at the airport but had somehow forgotten my passport. I can’t stop thinking of my to-do-before-I-go list even thought I have to finish my school work before I can realistically get started on any of this stuff. SO maybe if I write it out I can actually just stop myself from stressing out about it.

  • Finish all school work
  • Sort all of my belongings into three categories: taking to Japan, shipping back home, giving away/trash… I’m really hoping the third category will be the largest - do whatever you have to in order to part with your things, Kiki, you need less than you think you do. Be ruthless - if it has a hole in it, if you haven’t worn it or used it in over two months, if you know in your heart you can live with out it - don’t hold on to it. Maybe I will commemorate certain undeniably cool things which I must part with by photographing them.
  • Pack up and ship back home the few boxes of stuff I have to keep
  • Buy film
  • Back up my computer
  • Learn a little Japanese???
  • Commemorate my time in Montreal by entering the Quebec writing competition with a short story (doubtful)
  • Commemorate my time here by photographing my top 5 favorite places in MTL, or maybe make a video…
  • Do more trip planning

Okay… so that doesn’t seem like a lot of stuff when I write it out like that. BUT IT IS REALLY OVERWHELMING IN MY HEAD OKAY?

Nation

I feel like I’m itching to say something but I’m not entirely sure what (COFFEE!!!) so I’ll just start writing and see where this takes me. My parents bought a camcorder to record our trip an I couldn’t be more grateful because I think we will all have a lot of fun with it. It will help Bean and I to document our experiences in Japan. You can look forward to seeing me and her royal hotness (Bean, obvs) in HD video the way Gaia intended. Mom and Dad are leaving for Japan in 6 short days… maybe I can convince them to guest blog here a little bit.

Eventually I’m going to articulate my thoughts on a subject that I anticipate will surface here: Orientalism. Not today though. I have a lot of thoughts about how to/how I do engage in cultural practices that are not my own but I’m not able to voice them yet. SPOILER ALERT: with humility and sensitivity.

Sub-question: what is my culture as a molotto anglophone double-exile living in Quebec, as a 10th generation Canadian descendant from Irish Protestants and a mother born in South Africa and raised in Swaziland who identifies as Canadian because she’s lived here for fucking ever but still has to answer bullshit questions like where are you from because apparently people of colour ain’t from around here, aaaaaand considering that my suburban upbringing was virtually indistinguishable from American stereotypes of a happy home (aside from the near-poverty) What is my culture? And how much does authenticity to/authority of ones own culture matter? Isn’t limiting yourself to cultural practices to which you have a racial right ultimately perpetuating xenophobic racial hierarchies? How much consideration should I afford people whose criticisms stem from hyper-sensitive liberalism, magical thinking and a misguided loyalty to political correctness?

I am probably just defending myself from entirely imagined critics. Maybe I should worry less about offending people and instead focus on adhering to my own sense of integrity and building my collection of “haters gonna hate” gifs for when the time comes.

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